Feeling angry 😡

When I hit my low, I sent out a text to someone that I love deeply as a friend and I was brutally honest and in hindsight a giant asshole.

I hurt my friend, I broke their trust, I made them cry and question their choices in having me as a friend. I was there person.

I tried calling but they won’t accept my call if I was them I wouldn’t accept my call either.

I have texted them to let them know I was not in my right mind when I wrote the text and that my depression had taken over. I have apologized profusely in every word available. I feel horrible and I know that they are going to shut me out for a while so rebuilding that friendship is going to be like me getting to the other side of my depression. It will be a marathon and not a sprint. I need to prove that I am a bigger person than my depression.

I need to build back their trust, their love and their kindness. They have been there for many major ups and downs in my life and in one text I ruined all of it.

it makes me sadder than hell and I am truly sorry for what I did and now I don’t know how to fix it. They are 2000 miles away so I can’t sit outside their front door and beg them to talk to me

i get it I fucked up and I have been beating myself up every single second since I did this. What a shitty way to ring in 2023.