All I have to say is my Wife is freaking amazing, I am so lucky to have her by my side and my Tribe is Badass and amazing! I think that sometimes I take all of you for granted and for this I am sorry! Thank you for standing behind me and holding me up when I don’t have the mental strength to do it on my own!

I had therapy today and I am starting to figure out how the downward spiral happened! As you all know I am taking an early retirement from a job that I have worked at for 14.7 years. When I leave I am taking a mini sabbatical for 19 weeks and I am a little afraid of that. I have worked since I was 16 and I am used to structure like, get up, feed the cats, go to work, be a badass, take a nap, eat some lunch, be a badass, stop work and hang with Cheryl. On 4/11/2023 that structure stops.

I am working with my therapist to come up with a routine when that happens, because I have a ton of anxiety around this. My homework for this week is to come up with 10 things I like to do and 10 things I want to do in that 19 week span. Easier said than done but I am going to put some thought into this.

Other contributing factors were the last 3 months of the year were hard, Cheryl being sick, our cat died, a good friend died, Cheryl’s dad passed away and of course the holiday blues. I am sure there is more but that was enough to push me over the edge.

I am learning to open up and set some boundaries and figure out different ways to deal with the merry-go-round in my head! Like going to the gym, listening to music and some meditation. This is a marathon but Inam willing to take as long as I need to go get to the other side of this!

I am going to rate today as a 6 because ai had some small wins!

Yes I did go to the gym tonight and I am sure my legs are going to be giving me a big fu tomorrow!